When a friend or relative is getting married, it’s only natural for you to wish the bride and groom to be the best- and to hope for a wedding invitation. But some couples prefer to have a small private ceremony with their closest relatives only and have a lavish after-party. If you’re invited to the reception only, you may very well feel disappointed or even hurt, but you shouldn’t take it too personally.
While this may sound petty, the non-invite can easily leave you wondering whether you should buy the couple a gift. After all, you apparently weren’t an important enough part of their life to be included in the ceremony. But would it be rude and distasteful to not bring a gift?
Do you buy a wedding gift if you’re only invited to the reception?
While you certainly don’t have to buy a gift if you’re only invited to the reception, it’s still a decent thing to do. You can view their wedding registry to select a small, inexpensive item that they need or buy them a gift card. It’s common for couples to opt for a small, private ceremony, so don’t take it the wrong way if you’re only invited to the reception.
When it’s not necessary to buy a wedding gift
It’s never necessary to buy a wedding gift- even if you’re invited to both the ceremony and reception. So, it goes without saying that you don’t need to buy a gift if you’re invited to the reception only- even though it’s still a nice gesture.
Now, there are some scenarios where you should seriously consider not giving a gift. If you think it’s tacky for guests to not bring a gift, some couples can be even tackier.
Occasionally, bridezillas will throw the fit of the century because you can’t make it to the bridal shower. And some couples will include registry information in the wedding invitations, request cash, or even charge guests for the reception dinner.
If this is the case, the couple is clearly out to maximize gift receiving, or keep their nuptials as cheap as possible. And if they book the event at an exotic locale, you’ll need to pay for travel expenses and take time off work if you decide to attend. In these scenarios, it’s advisable not to buy a wedding gift.
Why you should still purchase a wedding gift
If the bride or groom-to-be is a relative, close friend, or old college buddy, and the event is local, you should still consider buying a wedding gift- even if you’re only invited to the reception.
Granted, you shouldn’t invest in one of the priciest items on their registry unless you are feeling especially generous. But you should give them something- even a nice set of dishes or a gift card to one of their favorite restaurants or retailers.
There are many reasons why the couple may have only invited you to the reception. It may have nothing to do with underlying resentment or not valuing their friendship with you. Sometimes a large event simply isn’t possible due to budget constraints or guest limitations. And some couples just want to keep their ceremony small and private.
What types of wedding gifts to buy
If you’ve decided to go ahead and purchase a wedding gift, the next decision is what to buy. Wedding gift registries remove a lot of the guess work, but not every couple sets up a registry. If they do, the best way to find out about it is through word of mouth or simply asking the couple if they have one.
While most newlyweds could use cash or a check, it’s in bad taste for them to come right out and ask for money. But if you give them a card with money in it, your generosity will likely be appreciated. However, you don’t need to put much thought into a cash gift, which makes it less meaningful.
If the couple doesn’t have a registry, you can browse online or in stores to come up with some wedding gift ideas. While you shouldn’t go too cheap, it’s perfectly fine to choose a gift that fits your budget- especially if it’s something that the couple can use.
What to consider when buying a wedding gift
Of course, you should always consider the nature of your relationship. If a friend who hasn’t contacted you in years suddenly sends you an invitation to their wedding reception, you may still choose to attend as it’s an opportunity for a much-needed reunion. But you should think twice before going overboard with gift giving.
It’s perfectly fine to politely decline the invitation, explaining that you’re unable to make it but congratulate them on their nuptials. And you can always send them a card. While you should try to attend the wedding reception of close friends and relatives whenever possible, you’re never obligated to attend – or bring a gift.
Is it rude to not give a wedding gift?
It’s actually not considered rude if you decide not to purchase a wedding gift- but gifts are much appreciated and often hoped for. While you don’t need to spend as much on the gift if you have to travel to the ceremony and reception, it’s still always nice to give a small gift.
What does it mean when someone doesn’t invite you to their wedding?
While you may feel hurt if you’re not invited to a friend’s wedding, they may simply want to have a small ceremony with close family only. Or they could just be working on a tight budget or have a restriction on the number of guests that they can invite due to the size of the chapel or a limited venue.
Is it rude not to invite someone to your wedding?
Brides and grooms-to -be aren’t obligated to invite people to their wedding and reception. And the guest list may need to be limited for a variety of reasons. However, anyone who has been invited to pre-wedding events, such as bridal showers and bachelor’s parties should be invited to the wedding- with the exception of office bridal showers.
While you are never required to buy wedding gifts, regardless of whether you’re invited to the ceremony or not, it’s always nice to go ahead and buy a gift. But you should also consider your own budget and the nature of your relationship with the bride and groom.
It may come as a relief, though, to learn that not being invited to the wedding shouldn’t be taken personally. There are quite a few possible reasons for the lack of an invitation.
Although almost every bride -to- be dreams of a huge, lavish wedding, that isn’t in the cards for every couple. And some couples simply don’t want the hassle and expense of a large event. After all, that money may be better spent on a honeymoon or down-payment on a house.
So, go ahead and enjoy the reception if you’re able to make it. And try your best to swallow your pride and bring a gift- even if it’s small. It’s the thought that counts.